Ash believes erotic storytelling can do exactly that. As the host of a podcast dedicated to audio erotica and smut, she creates thoughtful conversations with some of the genre’s most compelling creators, exploring not only the stories they tell but also how those stories reshape our understanding of pleasure, identity, sexuality, and empowerment.

Drawing on her background in politics and history, Ash brings a perspective that is equal parts insightful, curious, and refreshingly honest. Living outside Toronto as a mother in her 40s, she challenges the idea that confidence, desire, or self-expression have an expiry date. Instead, she sees ageing as a second chance, an opportunity to become more authentic, more visible, and more unapologetically herself.

Her mission reaches beyond entertainment. Through every conversation, Ash works to create a safe space where listeners, especially women and queer communities, can ask difficult questions, embrace vulnerability, and recognise parts of themselves reflected in the stories being shared. For her, erotica is not about fantasy alone. It is a liberation movement that helps people replace shame with curiosity, reclaim pleasure without apology, and redefine sexuality on their own terms.

In this conversation Ash opens up about dismantling purity culture, embracing confidence beyond society’s expectations, navigating sexuality through history and politics, and why our deepest desires were never the problem. It’s an honest, thought-provoking discussion about freedom, identity, and the power of telling stories that finally make us feel seen.

Can Erotica Set Us Free? 

Erotica as a liberation movement rather than simply entertainment. What was the moment that made you realise erotic storytelling had the power to change how people see themselves and their sexuality? 

Ash: I very quickly noticed how erotica, particularly audio erotica, was starting to give me language around my own sexuality that I had never been able to communicate before. Dots started to connect, and suddenly I felt like a much more whole version of myself. I had words for things; I had confidence where there was previously shame. I felt “normal” in my needs and desires. And then I found an entire community experiencing the same and freely speaking about their sexuality and owning every piece of who they were.

There was this little niche where we were pushing back on societal norms around sexuality. It truly felt like we were (and are) part of a movement, an important one, where folks were liberating themselves from societal conditioning and as a result discovering so many pieces of themselves that they hid their entire lives.

Your Desire Was Never the Problem

So much of modern intimacy is filtered through shame, performance, or perfection. What do you think people most need to unlearn in order to build a healthier relationship with their own desire? 

Ash: So much of our understanding of sexuality and intimacy growing up is connected to purity culture and the patriarchy. I mean, the clitoris was just fully mapped recently. The female sexual organ was only fully mapped in 2026. That seems unimaginable, but women’s pleasure has never been the priority.

There has always been a double standard around men versus women when it comes to experiencing pleasure, being sexual and how they are perceived. It took absolutely nothing for girls to be called ‘sluts’ in school; women are not supposed to have a higher number of partners than men, showing our bodies deem us promiscuous, and using toys is considered too offensive to male partners, and so much more. You get the idea. So people truly need to break away from the thinking of purity culture and the patriarchy, and then it all comes so easily. Once you break away from the societal conditioning that those systems place on us, the shame is gone!

Owning Every Chapter

As someone in her 40s and a mother, you are challenging a very narrow cultural story about ageing. What has becoming older taught you about confidence, identity, and being visible in a world that often sidelines women as they age?

Ash: Leading up to turning 40, I challenged myself to grow out my grey hair. It was really important for me to confront my own views about ageing, but also for my daughter so that she didn’t hold the same worldview grating. Growing out my grey hair truly made me face where my confidence was coming from and why I viewed beauty standards the way that I did. Suddenly I was the mum showing up to the school with grey and purple hair, tattoos and a crop top. And I was glowing. I received more compliments than ever and had so many women start to grow out their greys simply because they saw how it impacted me. My confidence came from the inside, and everything else was confetti.

With my podcast and visibility I want to show women my age what is possible. We are sexy, we are fun, we are silly, we are fashionable, we are healthy and so much more. And knowing that I can help others become more comfortable in their own skin and sexuality just motivates me more and more. Like yes, I’m 42 and a mom, but I exist as my own mature and confident woman, and I won’t hide that anymore to fit into what society says I should be, cause that wouldn’t authentically be me and I refuse to lose myself.

The Conversation You’d Most Love to Have 

If you could invite any person, living or dead, onto your podcast to discuss sexuality, who would it be and why?

Ash: I have two, and it’s largely for the same reasons! First, Marilyn Monroe. Her sexuality and sexual presence were the focus of her celebrity, even in death, which just makes me so angry for her. I would love to give her the opportunity to share her story and thoughts and what the impact of that narrative really was.

The other, ironically, is Monica Lewinsky. She was so young when her sexuality was used against her, regardless of her being a victim. I would love to sit down and understand how that experience impacted her views of sex and intimacy as she matured.

Cultural Roots of Sexual Freedom 

Your political and historical background brings a unique perspective to discussions about sexuality. How have those influences shaped the way you understand sexual freedom and empowerment in today’s world? 

Ash: My historical background has given me the context needed to understand how societal influences have shaped the evolution of (predominantly women’s) sexuality and shame. There have been so many instances where women were powerful because of their sexuality, while so much of history has also shamed women who were deemed too sexual. Add queer history into that, and there is just so much to unpack.

There are movements in 2026 that are still trying to control women and queer folks when it comes to their bodies and sexuality, and having that extra historical context certainly gives me the information to push back perhaps more easily than others. Add my political background and the skills that I developed around communication, debate and political trends, and it makes for a pretty unique perspective to share on my podcast.

The Weight of Sexual Shame

Who do you think carries the greatest burden of shame around pleasure today, and why? Is it women, queer people, or anyone raised to believe they should be “good” before they can be desired?

Ash: We have all been so conditioned – men, women, queer folks – and we all have to really work to undo it all. Women have become far more independent and confident, and now we have the manosphere as a direct result. And even the most evolved men still have so much. shame around things like pegging, or toys, or even making noise while having sex. Women are still blamed for sexual assault if they are perceived as “too sexual”.

There are so many places around the world where being queer is still illegal, let alone shamed to the point of not being able to be publicly “out”. And I’ll say it again, these are the result of the patriarchy and purity/religious culture, inherently linked to being “good” and sticking to traditional views of gender. We need to evolve to understand that sex is about pleasure and connection and stop viewing it within the very narrow confines of modern society.

On Exploring Sexuality Without Shame

What advice would you give to someone who wants to explore their sexuality more openly but still feels fear, guilt, or uncertainty about what that discovery might reveal?

Ash: If you are wanting to explore it, regardless of the shame, etc., that desire is coming from somewhere within you, and it’s desperate to get out. Your curiosity is something to be followed and embraced, not further shamed or hidden. The rules of societal norms are made up and are normally not to our advantage. Start slow if you need to, or go fast! But check-in with yourself on your journey – does this feel good physically, emotionally and mentally?

There will be things that you discover you like, and there are also going to be things that you discover that you don’t like. And that’s okay! That is how we learn, and your sexuality doesn’t have to fit neatly into a box. It is allowed to be fun, and silly, and messy, and intense – but you’re going to find the truest version of you through your discovery, and you’ll never want to fit into that box again.

Editor Note

Speaking with Ash reminded me that erotica is far more than fantasy or escapism. At its best, it becomes a language for self-discovery, a space where shame loses its grip and curiosity takes its place. Sexual confidence is not something we are born with. It is something we reclaim by questioning outdated narratives, embracing vulnerability, and giving ourselves permission to be fully seen.

The greatest freedom is not found in becoming someone new, but in finally giving yourself permission to be the person you have always been.