Meet Laura Lee, a psychologist and sexologist with more than 17 years of experience in clinical practice and coaching. Dedicated to helping people explore and enjoy their sexuality without shame, Laura Lee combines expertise in mental health and sexual wellness, providing support through therapy, coaching, and her accessible online programme, Unbound.
In this candid conversation, they share insights on overcoming societal stigma, understanding the deep connections between our thoughts, emotions, and sexual expression, and why open dialogue is key to confidence, curiosity, and pleasure. Outside their practice, you might find them roller skating, painting, trying new baking recipes, or indulging in reality TV, proving that curiosity and joy aren’t limited to the therapy room.
Dive in to learn how Laura Lee is transforming the way we talk about sex, relationships, and mental well-being, and why embracing pleasure is an essential part of living authentically.
Sex Education Gaps
Your bio mentions the lack of comprehensive sex education you received in the ’90s. How do you believe this gap in early education has manifested in the adult clients you see today, and what are some common misconceptions you find yourself having to correct?
Laura: Everything we were taught about sex was that it was filled with risk: the risk of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, the risk of contracting an STI, or the risk of getting assaulted. We were not taught about pleasure, desire, communication, or the diversity of bodies and experiences. That gap shows up every day in my work. So many clients come to me carrying shame, believing that if their body doesn’t look or perform like the movies, something must be wrong. Others think sex is supposed to happen spontaneously and feel broken when it doesn’t. A big misconception I correct daily is that ‘low desire’ is a personal failing or a sign that they don’t love their partner. In reality, desire is deeply shaped by stress, context, safety, and even cultural messages, and it’s more helpful to focus on cultivating pleasure rather than worrying about just trying to ‘want’ something more. Understanding that is often a huge relief for people; it instills a lot of hope.
Coaching vs Therapy
You offer both clinical therapy and coaching. How do you help someone decide which path is most appropriate for their sexual growth or relationship goals?
Laura: The distinction really comes down to what someone needs at that point in their life. Therapy is usually the right fit when there are deep layers of trauma, anxiety, or long-standing patterns holding someone back. It allows us to work at a slower pace, getting to the root cause of what’s going on and deepening our understanding of how developmental experiences have shaped our relationships, attachment patterns, and worldview. Coaching, on the other hand, is perfect when someone wants guidance, tools, and structure to move forward in their sexual growth or relationship goals. It is often more specific and more problem/solution in tone; it often feels more tangible, more practical. The first thing I do with anyone is explore what feels safe, supportive, and aligned for them and co-create the best container for change and growth with that person.
LGBTQ+ Identities and Sexual Exploration
For LGBTQ+ adults, navigating societal expectations and personal desires can be challenging. What advice would you give to someone struggling to integrate their sexual identity with their emotional well-being?
Laura: For LGBTQIA+ adults, there’s often this tension between who they truly are and the expectations of family, culture, or society. That conflict can be exhausting. My biggest piece of advice is to give yourself permission to take things at your own pace—identity isn’t something that has to be declared in full all at once. It’s also not a static thing; for all of us, identity is fluid and evolving. Surrounding yourself with affirming people and safe spaces makes all the difference because safety is the foundation for both wellbeing and pleasure. When people feel affirmed, they can begin to integrate their sexuality and emotional health in a way that feels whole rather than fragmented.
Tech, porn, and expectations
Dating apps, porn, and social media shape modern desire. How do you help clients separate useful tools from harmful comparisons, and what boundaries do you recommend for a healthier sexual life online?
Laura: Technology has changed the landscape of desire completely. Dating apps, porn, and social media can be incredible tools when used with agency and intentionality; they give people access to connection, exploration, and representation they may never have had otherwise. But they can also create endless opportunities for comparison and pressure. I often ask clients how they feel during and after using technology. Does this leave you feeling inspired and connected, or something else? Empty, agitated, unfulfilled? That question helps separate what’s useful from what’s harmful. I encourage boundaries like setting intentional screen time, choosing ethical or diverse porn that actually resonates, or experimenting with offline intimacy days. With those shifts, tech can become something that adds to your erotic life instead of draining it.
Debunking Myths
In your opinion, what’s the biggest myth about pleasure or orgasms that keeps people from fully enjoying sex?
Laura: One of the biggest myths I come up against with regard to pleasure and orgasms is the belief that having an orgasm is of equal importance to everyone, every time, and it simply isn’t. This outcome-focused approach to sex, relentlessly pursuing your own or your partner’s orgasm like a dog with a bone, really interferes with our ability to tune into our bodies and be present in our pleasure. Sometimes when people are really struggling with this pressure, I invite them to experiment with taking orgasm off the table. It’s amazing what can open up when we explore in this way.
Confessions of Desire
Do you have a guilty pleasure when it comes to erotic media, reality TV, or fantasies that you think more people should admit to enjoying?
Laura: Nothing I feel guilty about! But what I would say is that I actually don’t really get much from visual porn; my imagination is far hotter than anything I’ve ever seen on screen! So my go-to is actually audio erotica or, even better, storytelling with my partner. Soooooooooooo hot!
Normalizing Kink in Education
BDSM and kink still carry stigma. Do you think kink should be normalised in mainstream sexual education, and why or why not?
Laura: I believe sex education should acknowledge the full spectrum of human sexuality, not by teaching explicit practices but by making it clear that there’s no single, one ‘normal’ way to experience desire, pleasure, or intimacy. For some people, that might include kink; for others, it might not, and both are equally valid. The real value lies in using this as a way to talk about consent, communication, and boundaries, which are skills that support every kind of relationship. This kind of open dialogue and celebration of the diversity of human sexuality helps young people to understand that variety is nothing to be ashamed of and, in fact, hopefully gives them something to look forward to!
Advice for a Curious Adult
If you could give one piece of advice to adults navigating sexuality, intimacy, and relationships in today’s culture, what would it be, and why do you think it’s so essential?
Laura: If I had to give one piece of advice, it would be: stay curious. Too often, adults feel pressure to have it all figured out when it comes to sex and relationships, particularly in a long-term relationship. In reality, sexuality is something that evolves with us throughout our lives. Curiosity allows us to adapt, to explore, and to keep intimacy alive even through big life changes like parenthood, ageing, or stress. It means asking questions, being open to learning, and not assuming there’s a single destination to reach. Besides, no one is fully knowable! So even in a long-term relationship, keep getting to know each other. Explore. Curiosity keeps sex playful, relationships resilient, and shame at bay.
Editor’s Note:
Laura leaves us with more than advice; it’s an invitation. An invitation to step outside of fear, shame, and outdated scripts and step into curiosity, pleasure, and self-trust. Sex isn’t just about bodies touching; it’s about the stories we tell ourselves, the spaces we create with others, and the freedom to explore without apology. In a culture quick to judge desire, her words remind us that intimacy thrives when we allow it to evolve. surprise us, and even challenge us. Perhaps the real lesson here is simple: stay curious, because curiosity keeps desire alive.
