For over three decades, Rebel has guided men to rediscover sexual confidence and presence not through performance, but through connection, breath, and embodied awareness. From practical “Buddha Belly” breath exercises to teaching the art of slowing down, her hands-on approach helps men move out of shame and into pleasure, presence, and power.

She dives into the fundamentals men often overlook: breath, presence, and emotional authenticity. Through practical exercises, boundary-setting guidance, and deep mind-body awareness, Rebel shows that intimacy begins with being fully seen, heard, and felt. She also addresses misconceptions about kink and BDSM, highlighting that it’s about trust, sensation, and connection, not just pain.

In this intimate conversation, Rebel shatters persistent myths about sexual mastery, revealing why it’s not about doing more but about truly being present. She shares how slowing down to sync with a partner’s rhythm can transform experiences, why orgasm gaps exist, and how cultural conditioning often teaches men “faster, harder” instead of connection.

Breath as Art: Reconnecting Body & Mind

Intimacy as “art… alive in every cell.” Walk us through a single breath practice you teach men in your hands-on containers that instantly shifts them from head to body, and why most of us have forgotten how to breathe during sex.

Rebel: Walking you through a Buddha Belly Breath Exercise.

Lying or sitting down. Soften down your eyes.  Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest/heart. Bring awareness to your breath … most likely your breath will be short and up in your chest, and your hand on your chest will be moving rapidly… this will keep us stuck in our heads. Shallow breathing feeds overthinking.

Now we want to drop down … sending our next breath to our bellies.  We want to start to regulate.  Taking a deep diaphragm breath, inhale slowly through the nose; the belly and the other hand rise as you breathe in like a little Buddha, full and round. Inhale for the count of 4 to begin with.

Exhale for the count of 5.  Slow inhales and longer exhales so next exhale could be for 6.

Continue:  Inhale… filling up your belly like a balloon and exhale, deflating the balloon.  Rinse and repeat, trying to get that breath out longer.

Introduce some jaw dropping … so opening, softening the jaw with the out breath. Next exhale, trying to make a sigh or a sound .. humming or moaning.

Notice more sound, longer breath, and jaw softening … the longer the breath, the more you can access.  This type of breath activates your parasympathetic nervous system … ‘safe mode.’ This type of breath helps us drop down into the belly, not up in the head.

MORE AWARENESS = SLOWER BREATHING

SLOWER BREATHING = LONGER EXHALE

LONGER EXHALE = CALMER, MORE EMBODIED STATES

WHY MOST OF US HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO BREATHE DURING SEX

In our modern world, we are often so busy, distracted, and anxious that we take many short breaths per minute; the average is between 15-20 breaths per minute. We mainly live in survival mode.

The autonomic nervous system runs the show during sex.  Stuck rigidity in the body, such as in the eyes, jaw, and fast breathing, can trigger a fight/flight response.

Men can get stuck in their heads: “Are we in danger?” or “is that a tiger?” and thoughts such as “Will I last?” or “Am I big?” It disconnects them from their body.

Men are taught … don’t cry, be quiet, shhh, suppress, control, and especially …. Get off quickly before you are caught, which leads to breath-holding.

Persistent Lies Men Believe About Sex

After three decades in the room with thousands of male bodies, what’s the most persistent myth about “sexual mastery” that still makes you roll your eyes, and the one embodied moment that shatters it every time?

Rebel: That sexual mastery is about ‘performance.’ It blows my mind how many men still believe that ‘doing’ more, rather than ‘being’  being connected, being in the present moment, is the way to ‘win’ in the bedroom.

What they still don’t seem to understand is that women don’t want what I call “drilling for oil” for hours. That repetitive jack-rabbitting that can make you feel like the unfortunate favored toy of a puppy before he’s had the snip. They won’t remember Olympic-level thrusting as the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering night of their life… but they may remember it for all the wrong reasons!

What women will remember and come back for more of is a man who is fully engaged.  The way he breathes, tunes in to her, drops in to the space…softens and connects. They’ll remember feeling safe, desired, and met.

When a man has his mind and body connected, he stops ‘doing sex’ and exhales fully into the experience without any expectations. Totally present … slowing everything down and savoring all the micro-moments along the way.

Unlocking Secrets: Surprising Lessons 

What’s the most surprising lesson you’ve learned from teaching men about sexual empowerment?

Rebel: First of all …I don’t teach men empowerment. Men are inherently sexually empowered in the society we live in.  I help them to develop sexual confidence and mastery. Helping them overcome dysfunction and shame.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that for all the tips, tricks, and advanced methodologies for assisting men with dysfunction there are these days, the basics are still not landing! And without that, everything else is for nought other than throwing money away for a laugh.

There is so much content available these days- we’re drowning in it. But the fundamentals? Wow.  It blows my mind. These guys are out there reading up on how to get a woman to squirt but still don’t understand the most powerful and fundamental tools at their disposal to be an incredible lover. They’re aiming for the bleachers before they truly comprehend how to use the bat!   My wish would be for everyone to read ‘She Comes First’ by Ian Kerner

Why Men Need to Pause

Orgasm gaps are real, and some say men are wired to prioritize their own pleasure. What’s the most surprising thing you’ve taught a man about slowing down to sync with a partner’s rhythm, and why do you think society still whispers “faster, harder” in their ears?

Rebel: When a man slows down to actually feel their partner’s rhythm and not just their own … everything changes. I think of it  like opening a book. You can speed-read, like I learned in school. But immersion reading is what my body taught me later. Not skimming to get through it with a basic grasp of the content, but letting each word land. Feeling it. Rolling it around. Holding it up to the light.  Reading slowly enough that one  can truly experience the story.

The ‘faster, harder’ thing, in my opinion, is definitely cultural conditioning. Porn, locker room banter, the ego … that intensity is a skill.  Oversensitizing and brainwashing play a part too.

Protect Yourself and Connect: The Art of Saying ‘No’ 

You say intimacy starts with being “fully seen.” For the partner who feels invisible in bed, what’s one boundary-setting phrase you coach that simultaneously protects and invites deeper seeing without killing the mood?

Rebel: I get my clients to practice a few things, such as grounding before intimacy and learning to open up and communicate, such as ‘I love it when you softly touch here’ or ‘I love just laying touching your whole body.’ Saying things such as ‘can we just slow down and meet each other where we are both at?’ so that you are not shutting things down but rather asking to connect more.

Another practice would be for both syncing up and connecting via breath, sound and movement together, which is something I teach in my private practice and is also availablesound, through some of my online offerings.

One Rule About Sex People Rarely Follow

What’s one piece of advice about sex or relationships that you think most people completely ignore?

Rebel: Oooh I have a few! One:  Quit racing towards that finishing line!  It then becomes about touch here, lick here, do this and poke here. Make her cum, then I can cum. Just ticking boxes. It becomes like a movie watched a thousand times, or like doing the dishes. And that’s not sexy AT ALL.

Kink Uncovered: Myths, Misconceptions

There’s a growing discussion about kink and BDSM becoming more mainstream. What do you think is often misinterpreted or sensationalized about these practices?

Rebel: Kink is about sensation, power exchange, and trust, “NOT JUST PAIN.”

Advice for Men Who Hide

Many men hide their emotions and focus solely on sexual performance. If you could give them one piece of advice to help them open up and fully embrace emotional and sexual authenticity, what would it be?

Rebel: We don’t need another man who pretends in this world or in our beds. We want one who is willing to feel, be vulnerable, and express himself!

Editor Note:

Rebel shows us that sexual confidence and intimacy are not earned through technique or endurance, but through presence, awareness, and authentic connection. The insights shared here underscore a truth often overlooked: mastery begins not with “doing more,” but with being fully seen, heard, and felt. 

From slowing the breath to syncing with a partner’s rhythm, the practices Rebel outlines invite us to step out of performance-driven habits and into embodied experiences that nurture trust, pleasure, and vulnerability. 

The most unforgettable intimacy is crafted in moments of presence, not perfection. As readers, the best line to carry forward might be this: when we slow down, listen, and inhabit our bodies, we discover that connection, not conquest, is the ultimate measure of sexual fulfillment.