George reflects on what it truly means to start over as an act of self-respect. At 40, he left behind a comfortable life in Chicago and rebuilt himself in Athens, guided by grief, intuition, and a deep need for peace. What began as a physical move became a complete internal shift. Success and happiness stopped being about approval, possessions, or performance and became rooted in simplicity, presence, and living life on his own terms.
George speaks openly about surviving a narcissistic relationship that shattered his sense of self and forced him to redefine love, intimacy, and emotional safety. As a gay man navigating vulnerability later in life, he learned that chaos is not passion and calm is not boring. Healing meant learning boundaries, rebuilding self-worth, and understanding that intimacy does not require perfection. It requires honesty.
Through community, patience, and self-trust, he discovered that healing and connection can exist at the same time.
In this conversation, we explore his journey of starting over, redefining happiness, and finding peace within vulnerability. George shares reflections on emotional resilience, navigating desire, and cultivating joy, offering a candid look at how self-trust, community, and courage can transform love, life, and intimacy.
Starting Over as an Act of Self-Respect
You made a bold decision to leave Chicago and rebuild your life in Athens at 40. What internal shifts had to happen before you gave yourself permission to start over, and how has that choice reshaped the way you now define fulfillment, success, and happiness?
George: Everyone has their own light bulb moment that creates that internal shift; for me, it was the passing of my grandfather. I always wanted to leave Chicago and start over in Athens, but I always felt held back by family, friends, and that cushy life I was living. Once he passed, it was a sign for me to take the risk and move. And that’s exactly how it happened for me. I found the job, packed up my life in Chicago, and moved to Athens. This move has reshaped the way I define what life and happiness are. It’s not about owning everything. It’s not about being liked and making sure you are doing everything for everyone. It’s about living your own life now. For me, walking up Mt. Lycabettus in the center of Athens is happiness.
Being able to eat natural food and go for a swim is happiness for me. You learn that once you are out of your comfort zone, the way you define happiness and success is much simpler than you thought. The move reshaped my whole viewpoint of life from a constantly rushing chaos to one that flows calmly and peacefully. Your standards shift; they have to. Especially if you want to start over. You can’t have the same mindset from your old life to your new one.
Healing After a Narcissistic Relationship
You’ve been open about surviving a deeply draining, narcissistic relationship. How did that experience change your understanding of emotional intimacy, power dynamics, and self-worth, especially as a gay man navigating love and vulnerability later in life?
George: I have been super open about this because it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, as they say, for me. It caused me to crash and burn. This experience ended up changing me for the better. I took the ashes and built a new life like no other. It shifted my understanding of love, of relationships, and of what is viewed as “Normal.” For example, I now see how chaos isn’t normal. How being emotionally abused isn’t normal. I see calm as normal. I see communication without yelling as normal. I see what life really is and, most importantly, what happiness is. My self-worth was -80 during that time; now it’s probably a 180.
It shifts so much once you realize what life can be if you take that one risk, that one step into the unknown. Intimacy has been a struggle post this relationship, to be honest. It’s something I am still navigating and am fortunate to have found my boyfriend, who is super understanding here. My one word of advice is we often think we have to navigate this alone; we don’t. There is a whole community out there who have been through things we have all been through. I have found that super helpful for me as I navigate this in a foreign city away from my family.
Boundaries
There’s a lot of talk about “healing” before dating again. Do you believe people need to be fully healed to have healthy sex and relationships, or can intimacy itself be part of the healing?
George: I thought I needed to be fully healed to date or have sex again. I realize now that that isn’t the case. If you wait to be fully healed, life will pass you by. You need to get into the ring again and see what is and isn’t working. For me, I gave myself almost 2 years till I was in a relationship again. I did date during that period; I may have rushed to start dating again, which didn’t work for me.
In order for me to heal, I need to take the 1st portion alone. To finally love myself. Once I found that love, dating came naturally. They helped heal parts of me that I didn’t realize I needed. It helps you define the kind of sex or relationship you want. So I think the only way to heal is to have intimacy as part of the process. Because if you don’t, it will get harder to get back into the game, trust me from experience.
Wellness Beyond Aesthetic Goals
Your lifestyle shift includes fitness, clean eating, and swimming in the sea year-round. How has prioritizing physical wellness affected your mental health and your relationship with your body, desire, and confidence?
George: It actually all started to help my mental health. I wasn’t in a good place mentally after the move and breaking up; add in losing a job and friends, and I started to work out as a way to get my head back in the game. I started to feel better mentally, which then brought in the physical benefits. Both my mental and physical health increased my confidence 10-fold and helped my relationship with my body.
I was never the “Go outside shirtless” type, but now I walk around Athens with Biskotaki without a shirt on those hot days and don’t think anything of it. It’s helped my relationship with my body in unimaginable ways. Even posing for photos in my briefs was a huge step for me, and now it’s something so normal for me. You realize that you are desired and that you have come so far.
Sexuality, Confidence, and Aging
There’s often pressure in queer culture around youth and desirability. How has entering your 40s changed the way you experience sexuality, pleasure, and confidence, and what conversations about aging do you think are missing?
George: I think what is missing in queer culture is aging gracefully. We are brought up in a culture that is very looks-driven and quick-fix-oriented, so we forget that we are all aging. Aging doesn’t stop. So we should age gracefully and do so by making those lifestyle changes. Pleasure shifts as you age…at least for me. I am in a monogamous relationship and love it.
What I think is missing is showing that it’s ok to be “vanilla.” It’s ok to want different things from the community. That is what I tell others who ask me now at 40 what I think is important. Do what is right for you and understand that things shift as you age; just be along for the ride.
Authenticity as a Form of Intimacy
Your online presence thrives on honesty rather than perfection. Why do you think authenticity feels so intimate to people now, and how do you protect your emotional well-being while sharing your life publicly?
George: Authenticity feels so intimate now because most are not used to seeing someone’s life exactly as it is. You become vulnerable, and vulnerability is one of the sexiest traits out there. We often think we need to show our strong side when, in reality, when it comes to intimacy, being vulnerable and authentic always wins in my book. Protecting my well-being while sharing my life is my number one goal. Peace.
I have made peace with the fact that there will be haters. People who will make fun of your life or what you are wearing or sharing… I have learned to let them be. And if someone says something that is out of bounds or such… a nice little block always comes their way. We have ways to protect our peace while sharing online. I have learned to not give 2 fucks essentially and just do what I want.
Advice for Those Afraid to Begin Again
For readers who feel stuck in relationships, careers, or versions of themselves that no longer fit, what would you say about fear, timing, and trusting the unknown when it comes to reclaiming joy, intimacy, and self-trust?
George: I always go back to this phrase, “Faith over Fear.” It’s something that was told to me when I was going through the storm. It takes as much energy to be scared of the unknown as to be okay with the unknown. It takes the same amount of energy to look for the worst outcome as the best outcome. Once you shift your mindset, life just gets better. My advice for anyone who is stuck…just make the move.
Start small. Nothing needs to be a huge leap. For me, I needed that big change to get me out of my comfort zone. Having accomplished that, I realize now that I can do anything. And that if I have faith and I can do it, then no one is going to stop me. Timing will never be right. Just do it. If you feel stuck now, you will only get deeper in the quicksand… I have learned that the hard way. So just do one step forward. It’s scary, but so is not growing or staying stuck.
Editor Note
Starting over is an act of radical self-respect. It’s not about what you leave behind; it’s about who you choose to become. His story shows that real happiness, love, and connection aren’t tied to perfection or approval; they come from trusting yourself, embracing vulnerability, and daring to live on your own terms. From rising after heartbreak to redefining intimacy to finding joy in the small, everyday moments, George’s perspective is both intimate and powerful: growth demands courage, patience, and a willingness to step into the unknown.
“Healing, confidence, and love are not destinations; they are choices you make every day. So if you’re afraid to begin again, take the step. Start messy, start brave, start now, and watch your life transform in ways you never imagined.”
