Erin has spent years building technology that shapes how we live, connect, and communicate. But somewhere between algorithms and lockdowns, her curiosity turned inward, toward intimacy, desire, and the quiet power dynamics that govern our relationships. Leaving the predictability of a traditional tech path, she stepped into the emerging world of sextech, where code meets consent and culture is designed one product at a time.

With a background in AI and software, Erin now creates tools that explore sexuality with intention and ethics. Her work sits at the intersection of pleasure and responsibility, challenging the idea that technology is neutral. Through her app, Dommi, she transforms productivity into play, blending kink, structure, and self-awareness in a way that feels both provocative and surprisingly wholesome. It is not about performance or shock value. It is about agency, ritual, and feeling connected to yourself while getting your life together.

In this candid conversation, Erin reflects on sexual sovereignty as a lived practice, not a theory. She speaks openly about consent as sacred, about the importance of language in expressing desire, and about designing products that protect privacy while honoring diverse identities, relationship styles, and boundaries. From pitching Dommi on international sextech stages to studying sexology, her journey is rooted in curiosity, integrity, and a deep respect for human complexity.

At its core, Erin’s story is about reclaiming authorship over desire in a digital age. She reminds us that pleasure is not something to be optimized or outsourced. It is something we design for, advocate for, and choose every day.

Bridging Worlds

Erin, you’ve spent over a decade in tech and now create sextech products that explore human sexuality. How has your background in AI and software shaped your approach to understanding intimacy and pleasure?

Erin: Technology is a silent partner in every human relationship today, romantic, sexual, and platonic. It facilitates where we meet, who we meet, and how we meet. It allows us to express ourselves and our desires and explore what turns us on. It is not a neutral interface, however, as it changes the rules of engagement. Algorithms amplify certain attitudes and normalize certain behavior. These cultural changes do not stay within the digital realm. They follow us as we engage in the analog world. Designing tech with the objective of enhancing human expression,  both online and offline, is critical. It is imperative to design for sextech with the knowledge that you are designing culture.

My passion for the intersection of human sexuality and technology grew exponentially during lockdown. I learned about a program called Sextech School and jumped at the opportunity to enroll. I learned about the growing sextech industry, which covered everything from STI testing to AI companions to period trackers. As the pandemic continued, human connection became mediated by tech to an unprecedented degree. Today, though no longer in lockdown, the way we connect is forever altered. Designing ethically for sextech, with respect for diverse sexualities, genders, and relationship styles, and taking care to ensure data privacy and security in a tumultuous political landscape, is crucial for products dealing with such sensitive information.

Personal Journey

What inspired you to transition from a tech career to studying sexology and creating products like Dommi? Were there moments of self-discovery that reshaped how you view relationships and sexual empowerment?

Erin: I remember watching Cindy Gallop’s infamous TED talk about the Make Love Not Porn (MLNP)  platform. Her social platform enables humans to share sexuality in all its beauty and imperfections. I continue to be inspired by her determination to use tech as a tool for good, to increase human connection, and to celebrate real-world sex.

I similarly feel compelled to create tech that inspires, connects, and empowers. Dommi represents a merger between two of my loves: tech and kink. Just as every vanilla relationship is mediated by at least one tech interface, kinky ones are too. I want to build products that engage both my right and left brains. I understand that tech creates culture. If I want to live in a world that celebrates sexual sovereignty, I must build the tech that enables it.

Sexual Sovereignty

You emphasize sexual sovereignty in your work. How do you define it, and what practical advice would you give someone seeking to reclaim agency over their desires and boundaries?

Erin: Sexual sovereignty holds up the individual as the atomic unit of sexuality. It holds consent sacred. It celebrates all dimensions of sexuality expression, including sexual orientation, gender expression, and relationship style (ENM/CNM, monogamous, or poly), including those who are asexual and aromantic.

Advice for those seeking to reclaim agency? First, you must believe that it is your birthright to do so. Second, it starts with you, the individual. Do you know what you like? What turns you on?  Do you have the words for it? Read different kinds of erotica, listen to podcasts on human sexuality, attend classes, and educate yourself. Develop the vocabulary to express what you want.  Third, ask for what you want. Practice this in low-stakes situations (where to eat, the coffee shop, etc.). Only engage with partners who welcome this type of conversation.

Tech and Ethics

Developing ethical and inclusive sextech comes with challenges. What are some of the hardest lessons you’ve learned about creating products that respect privacy, consent, and emotional well-being?

Erin: Build your product with data security in mind from the jump, not something bolted on after the fact. This will take time and money. It will require embracing more work upfront to lay a proper foundation. Engage with prospective users early and often. Reward them for engaging with your  product during a beta test. Encourage their candid feedback. Fall in love with the community you intend to serve, not a particular product vision.

Kink and Psychology

Dommi leverages the psychology of kink. How can integrating kink and mindful play enhance emotional intimacy and self-awareness in both solo and partnered experiences?

Erin:  Playing with power dynamics can transform rote, boring, tedious tasks into something playful and erotically charged. Some might think of kink as something that only occurs within the confines of a dungeon involving a whip. Though that aspect of it definitely exists, there is so much more to explore.

Dommi is an app that turns getting your life together into foreplay. Most habit trackers are about as sexy as a spreadsheet. They don’t speak to the millions of people who are kinky, curious,  and craving structure with a safe word. Dommi blends power exchange with productivity tools, helping you track habits, share tasks, and build rituals in a way that’s personal, playful, and hot. You get stuff done. You feel hot doing it. Everyone wins.

It was a delight to pitch Dommi at two sextech conferences this year, the first at SxtechEU in  Berlin and the second at Sextech Pioneer’s Unconventional Startups in Melbourne. It was fun to watch people’s faces light up at the thought of a kinky app that was flirty, cheeky, and surprisingly “wholesome”.

Wellness Intersection

Sexual health is closely linked to overall wellness. How do you approach balancing mental, emotional, and sexual well-being in your own life, and what tips do you share with clients or users?

Erin: Lots of black coffee and lifting weights, though your mileage may vary. Design a lifestyle that ergonomically makes sense for you and how you’re wired. Surround yourself with people who welcome all sides of your authentic self.

I view sexual well-being to be just as critical to my wellness as mental and physical health. Give yourself grace as you allow yourself to explore what you like. I’m currently studying to be a certified sexologist through the Sexual Health Alliance. I’m on the road frequently for conferences, workshops, and networking in the sexual health space. I’m always curious and looking to broaden my understanding.

Relationships in the Digital Age

How has technology transformed modern relationships, and what do you think are the most important skills for cultivating deep connection in an increasingly digital world?

Erin: Often our first point of contact is digital. Put your best digital foot forward. Remember there is a  human on the other end. Be clear about what you want. Engage with tech products that lead  with integrity.

Experiment with communities or apps that cater to a community you are curious about.  Technology allows us to seek out our particular niche of humans (queer, ENM, kinky, etc.). Find  safe and supportive communities and don’t be afraid to get face-to-face (over Zoom or in  person).

Empowering Others

For readers who may feel hesitant or conflicted about exploring their sexuality, what advice or practices would you suggest to help them embrace curiosity, pleasure, and authenticity without shame?

Erin: 1. Find role models who inspire you to celebrate pleasure and embody your values. Some of mine are Shere Hite, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Cindy Gallop, and Dita von Teese.

2. Seek out the support of sexuality professionals. Working with a sex & relationship coach can help give you tactics to stay present in your body, feel pleasure, and ask for what you want. A  licensed mental health professional trained in sexuality can guide you in processing any past  pain or trauma.

3. Connect with the community online or IRL. Find your local kink meetup. Book a session with your friendly local dominatrix. Make sure to surround yourself with others who respect you and your boundaries.

Editor Note

Erin’s story sits at the intersection of insight and responsibility, reminding us that intimacy does not exist outside the systems we build around it. What stands out most is her insistence that technology carries values, whether we acknowledge them or not. The real perspective offered here is not just about sextech or kink, but about authorship. Who gets to design desire, define consent, and set the rules for connection in a digital world?

Through Erin’s lens, pleasure becomes intentional rather than performative, and consent becomes an active, living practice instead of a checkbox. Her work invites us to slow down, find language for what we want, and engage only where curiosity and respect are mutual. The insight is quietly radical: structure can be playful, power can be ethical, and intimacy can be designed with care.

“When we treat desire with the same integrity we bring to innovation, we do not just build better products. We build more honest relationships with ourselves and others.”