Lona Garner is a Neo Tantra Teacher and Sexual Liberation Coach who has transformed her own journey of trauma and corporate burnout into a path of empowerment, pleasure, and presence. After leaving a high-pressure job and discovering Tantra and sex magic, she built a practice that helps others explore their sexuality, embrace their desires, and step into their fullest selves.

Through workshops, coaching, and online guidance, Lona teaches individuals to use pleasure as a tool for healing, intimacy, and liberation. Her approach blends deep mindfulness, breathwork, and the principles of Neo Tantra to guide people through vulnerability, self-discovery, and authentic connection.

In this interview, Lona opens up about her journey into Neo Tantra, the transformative power of intentional sexual experiences, the magic of conscious pleasure, and how to approach labels in a way that honors your authenticity. She also explores ethical and joyful ways to navigate kink, showing how sexual liberation can ripple into every aspect of life

The Path to Tantra

Your journey into becoming a Neo Tantra Teacher and Sexual Bliss Coach is described as “wild.” Can you share a pivotal moment from your personal story that led you to this path and how it shaped your mission to empower others?

Lona Garner: It all started when I was fired from my fancy corporate job. I was devastated in all ways. But one day I woke up to the green grass, the clear sky, and the wind kissing my cheeks, and I chose that this wouldn’t keep me down. I picked up a book that a friend had dropped off that week, and through that book, I learned to become a witch. Yes, the bare words of a page held the key to my evolution.

I studied for a year, and when I got to the sex magic portion of witchcraft, I was hooked. And this book didn’t have all the answers I lusted after. So, I did what any pioneering young millennial would do: I googled it and discovered Tantra. And was brought to more books, more practices, and more knowledge. I followed this hidden path hard, sniffing out all the dusty corners of my life that I had left behind years before. Until I started to uncover the me beyond that trauma, beyond that conditioning, beyond that small life I had built and settled for. A Tantric life to be proud of. And now I live my dream to teach Neo Tantra workshops, coach people into their own liberation, and build the Bliss Revolution.

The Art of Long Pleasure

We live in a culture that often glorifies quick fixes, yet you talk about “3-hour sex.” Beyond the obvious, what do long, intentional sexual experiences teach us about presence and intimacy?

Lona Garner: I get lost in sexuality. We find we have to set alarms so we don’t miss important things while we are caught up in the tangle of sweat, love, and ecstasy we crave so much. But this isn’t a competition to see how long we can go. It’s an exploration of how deep we can find presence in each other. And this creates the kind of intimacy that most people are probably afraid of.

When we breathe, move, and sound together, we can actually see the person in front of us. The mind starts to unclench from this reality, it’s so desperate to cling to. And the body starts to open and relax the tender parts that have been shielded from more pain. This can be a difficult experience, because it starts to thin the veil between conscious and unconscious, and the heavy bricks of pain and trauma that the unconscious works day and night to hold down begin to rise. And when they leave the unconscious and enter the conscious, we actually get a chance to feel them. And when they are felt, they have the opportunity to let go. This is a profoundly healing shift in sexuality.

Instead of focusing on orgasm and quick dopamine hits, pleasure turns into a path to healing and liberation. They create the kind of presence that heals through the power of witnessing. Witnessing in yourself and witnessing in your partner(s). And this kind of sex creates intimacy that tears down walls of content, of hiding, and of running so that you can be fully seen and held in your truth. And that is something not many people are truly ready for. But it’s so worth it.

Sex Magic Unveiled

You’ve mentioned “sex magic” as one of your specialties. For those new to the concept, what does sex magic mean to you, and how have you seen it transform lives?

Lona Garner: I can only speak to my own life here (though I’ve heard many stories of it transforming others). I started doing sex magic when I was seeking a new partner. I was dating a woman at the time, but I really craved to be held by a man (I’m polyamorous, so my partner knew I was looking for him). In my mind, he was the Emperor, the master of his domain and the container of those around him. He was assured of himself and took care of himself. He lived life by his own rules and challenged the norms he saw around him.

A few months later, I met him. He wasn’t everything I had dreamed of because he was on his own path. And through our relationship he has become all of these things and more.

Sex magic is a powerful tool to piggy backs on the energetic explosion that happens during orgasm. Through presence, breath, movement, sound, and pleasure stacked on top of orgasm, you can expand your vision of your desire into the world. You can do this without orgasm as well, but think of orgasm as the gasoline on the fire! And why not take advantage of all the fuel you have available?

I actually teach you the exact steps that I used to draw for my partner in my workshop “Sex Magick Ritual,” available on my website under the Video Vault.

The Freedom and Limits of Labels

Labels like “polyamorous,” “queer,” or “kinky” can feel freeing for some and limiting for others. How do you navigate these labels in your work to encourage authenticity rather than confinement?

Lona Garner: I love this question! I often share when I share my labels and beliefs how they’ve evolved over time. Labels are fun, but they’re not permanent! And you can choose to use them or not! I choose to use them when they feel authentic to try and share more of who I am with you over a 2-dimensional and often restrictive medium: the internet. Sometimes people are drawn to my labels; sometimes they’re repulsed by them.

I invite an inquiry into yourself when confronted with labels. And I never let anyone else label me something. Labels become confining and destructive when others use them to put you in a box. But you can reclaim your sovereignty by claiming your own labels or your lack thereof labels. Anything can become restrictive if you let it, even freedom. Liberation is about living your life beyond the fears, shame, guilt, and judgment of those who hope to keep you small.

Busting Tantra Myths

In your opinion, what’s the biggest myth about Tantra or sexual empowerment that needs to be busted?

Lona Garner: Sexual empowerment or liberation is often thought to be about having a huge collection of crystal dildos or getting 1000 matches on tinder. But it’s so much more than that. In fact, even though we focus on sexuality, love, or relationships to start, it’s actually a path to whole life liberation. This is because your biggest blocks in life are going to be rooted where you are most vulnerable. And the way your brain is set up, that place of most vulnerability is going to be in your sexuality, love, and relationships.

So, yes, you’ll have epic pleasure and you’ll have more devotional love through sexual liberation and empowerment, but the change doesn’t just end there. When the blocks and resistance are transformed in your sexuality, they naturally ripple out to the rest of your life. The biggest myth is that sexual liberation is just about sex! It’s about so much more!

Where Pleasure Meets Presence

How do you feel about the line between sexuality and spirituality? Is there a boundary, or are they deeply intertwined?”

Lona Garner: I believe they are deeply intertwined. For many of the reasons in my last statement about sexual liberation, but also because sexuality is a natural part of who we are. And spirituality that excludes sexuality is excluding an essential piece of ourselves. Tantra was revolutionary because it was the only spiritual belief system that included sexuality as a path to enlightenment.

Every other religion or spiritual practice at the time thought of sexuality as some other thing you did outside of your spiritual practice or something that actually got in the way of your spiritual practice. But this disempowers people because it disconnects them from one of the most easily accessible and exciting pathways to liberation, transformation, and enlightenment.

I know that a path that does not include sexuality is a path that will only take you so far.

Relationship Dynamics

You often discuss Daddy Dom dynamics and kink. How can people navigate power exchange in relationships safely, ethically, and joyfully?

Lona Garner: They can’t. Complete safety is only a thing that you can create inside yourself for yourself. No other person can be 100% safe. You can do it safer, though. And first, you have to honor the power of power exchange. It’s a big deal, not something to just randomly try with a stranger you haven’t vetted.

I recommend reading up on it; knowledge is truly power here. There are amazing resources online, and some of my favorite books are the Domination Playbook, The New Topping Book, and the New Bottoming Book. These are classics to learn all the aspects that will help you play more safely and ethically. Joyful is another story.

One of the reasons I love kink so much is because of the many parallels I see between it and Neo Tantra. If you can’t meet yourself in presence, then it’s going to be really difficult for someone else to meet you there. Building bliss/joy in your body is a personal game first.

The 5 holistic tools of Tantra are breath, movement, sound, energy, and mindfulness. Using these powerful and straightforward tools you can learn to surrender into your experience. In this surrender, difficult things may and will come up. These are the blocks that will prevent you from going deeper in kink as well. The most joyful experiences in kink happen in states of deep surrender and presence. My favorite definition of Tantra is feeling bliss in the body in the present moment. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

Tantric practices complement the joy of kink practices so that they are more than just a flogger and a scream, but they become a deeply healing, transformative process of intimacy.

Words of Wisdom for You

If someone is curious about exploring their sexuality but feels nervous or unsure, what’s the first step you’d suggest they take to approach it with confidence and curiosity?

Lona Garner: Get into rooms with people who aren’t afraid of talking about sex. There are a million practices you can do to help you, but there is something magical that happens when you are in a space where you can talk about and listen to conversations about healthy sexuality.

If you can’t get into those rooms, start following content creators, blogs, YouTube channels, and more to start to just hear the words. Once you’re more comfortable hearing the words, maybe try a workshop. Remember that a responsible workshop leader will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do. If they try to, leave. Most I have found have been amazing. There are even online workshops that help you feel even more secure in your own space without others looking at you.

Once you are feeling more confident and curious about your own sexuality, I recommend working with a coach to discover the very individual blocks and resistance you have to sexuality. These often stem from childhood or past relationships, and they’re often hidden underneath other things, so a professional can help you dig up the real reasons why you’re not fully expressing your sexuality as you want to.

And remember, the majority of people struggle with this. So, you are not alone; in fact, you are in very good company if your sexuality is a bit confusing or warped. And you are not broken, you are just conditioned into a pattern that kept you safe in the past, and you are ready to move beyond that. You are whole; you may just need a guide to remind you of your power.

Editor’s Note:

Sexuality is more than a private act; it’s a profound lens into our humanity, presence, and freedom. Her insights challenge the conventional boundaries between pleasure, healing, and self-discovery, showing that intentional sexual experiences can be a gateway to deeper intimacy, authenticity, and personal transformation. What stands out most is her perspective on labels, power, and consent: liberation isn’t found in external validation or quick fixes, but in cultivating awareness, curiosity, and sovereignty over one’s own desires

True empowerment begins where fear, shame, and societal expectation end. When you meet yourself fully, you open the door to a life of conscious pleasure, connection, and joy. It’s an invitation to embrace the unseen, explore the unknown, and live boldly in your own presence.

“True empowerment begins when we honor our desires, witness ourselves without judgment, and step boldly into the fullness of who we are.”