Amanda Rue has ventured where most only fantasize — leaving behind the security of corporate life to step boldly into the electrifying unknown of desire, freedom, and authenticity. As an intimacy coordinator, BDSM consultant, and pleasure coach, she operates at the delicate crossroads of safety and seduction, helping people reclaim their bodies, honor their boundaries, and embrace their innate right to pleasure.

Her transformative journey began with a sudden rupture — losing her advertising job — which unexpectedly unlocked doors to entirely new worlds, including her time working in a New York sex club. That experience shattered old limitations, giving rise to her alter ego, Rev. Rucifer, and uncovering the depths of herself she had long concealed.

In this revealing conversation, Amanda opens up about the awakening that reshaped her life, how she intertwines spirituality with eroticism, and why she believes pleasure is not earned — it is embodied.

The Awakening of Rev. Rucifer

Before Rev. Rucifer emerged, you hid behind what you felt was the ‘acceptable’ version of yourself. Can you take us back to that pivotal moment when your alter ego first cracked you open? What raw, sexy truth did it reveal about your own desires that you were too afraid to face alone?

Amanda:  I think I always knew I had a stirring for more. Throughout my life, I felt this insatiable desire to experience everything — the good, the bad, the ugly, the messy, the beautiful. I wanted to feel life.

One of the pivotal moments was getting fired from my job in advertising in 2018. That job embodied the version of me who played by everyone else’s rules. Walking home that day, I knew things would never be the same. Within weeks, I was working at a sex club in NYC, freelancing, and realizing that freedom — the ability to create life on my own terms — had always been there. It just took courage to step out of the comfort of the expected.

If I’m honest, left to my own devices. I probably would have stayed — unhappily — in advertising forever. But life had other plans. Losing that job created the exact conditions I needed to step into a new life, a new persona, and a deeper exploration of myself than I ever thought possible.

Sacred & Profane Integration

You describe weaving the sacred and profane together. How do you help people recognize that pleasure and spirituality are not opposites but complementary forces in life?

Amanda:  Many of us were raised in religions that taught suppression, obedience, and shame. I grew up being told sex should be saved for marriage, that masturbation was wrong, that as a woman I was to be subservient to my husband. Despite the Church’s best efforts, I couldn’t believe that was the truth of our existence.

When we strip away those teachings, we return to something deeper: we are divine in nature, and life itself is the divine experiencing through us. That means every moment — whether we label it “good” or “bad” — is sacred.

Pleasure and erotic energy are part of that. They’re how we physically connect with expansion, creation, and love. When we explore what’s judged as “profane,” we bring our light to it and discover the sacred in every moment of connection, discovery, and intimacy — with ourselves and with each other.

BDSM and conscious kink offer practical tools for this. They give us a way to engage our desires intentionally and see how the “profane” is often just another doorway into the divine.

Consent & Safety

As an intimacy coordinator and BDSM consultant, safety and consent are central. How do you guide clients in building boundaries while also embracing vulnerability and erotic expression?

Amanda:  Boundaries and consent are what make vulnerability and erotic expression possible. When people feel safe, supported, and heard in their needs, a container of trust is created. Inside that container, they can access both their “yes” and their “no” to authentically guide their experience.

Building boundaries takes practice, because our needs and desires can shift from day to day or even moment to moment. For me, the key is learning to notice and honor when those boundaries arise — whether they’re physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, or energetic.

One of my favorite practices is embodying the feeling of “yes” and “no” in the body. As clients tune into their own somatic signals, they begin to recognize how their body communicates. That internal knowing builds confidence, and with it comes the ability to advocate for themselves while fully stepping into their desires.

Breaking the Mold

What’s the most out-of-the-box technique you’ve used to help a client or actor feel empowered in their body during an intimate moment, and why was it so effective?

Amanda:  I’ve done some powerful mirror work with clients stepping into their dominance and sense of power. We’ll start with them simply describing how they feel as a dominant — and as they speak, you can see their body shift. Their chest rises, their shoulders move back, their energy expands.

Then I have them breathe into that energy and look at themselves in a mirror. It’s often startling to be confronted with this less familiar version of themselves, but also liberating. I’ll ask intuitive questions: What do you want to be called? What do you desire? What would make you feel even more powerful? Without pressure, the answers start to come.

From there, I encourage them to carry this energy into their daily life and notice how they feel — and how others respond. Mirror work helps people glimpse an expanded reality of themselves. For a moment, they put down who they think they are and explore who they could be.

Soundtrack of Seduction

Let’s get playful: If you could create a “pleasure playlist” for a night of sacred intimacy, what three songs would be on it, and how do they set the mood?

Amanda: It’s hard to pick only three songs because my playlists shift with the vibe, the partner, and the intention of the scene. But here are three that always stay close:

• “Marilyn Monroe” by Sevdaliza — sultry, hypnotic, it always makes me feel sexy and turns up the heat.
• “Put It On Me” by Matt Maeson — gritty, emotional, it keeps my hips moving and taps into my playful edge.
• “Needed Me” by Rihanna — slow, unapologetic, and hot. Rihanna ends up on almost every one of my playlists.

Challenging the Old Rules

If you could challenge one outdated societal belief about sex or pleasure in a big, bold way, what would it be, and how would you inspire readers to rethink it?

Amanda:  I’d challenge the belief that kink is only for “extreme” people. Honestly, I think everyone is a little kinky.

There are so many misconceptions — that BDSM is all about pain, or that you have to fit into a role like “dominant” or “submissive.” In reality, most people I’ve met in kink aren’t chasing pain at all. They’re drawn to release, to curiosity, to the freedom of exploring desire without judgment.

Kink doesn’t have to be scary or dark. It can be playful, tender, even healing. It’s about creating space to explore what actually turns you on, and honoring it.

A Note to My Past Self

Looking back on your journey, what’s one piece of advice you wish you could give to your younger self about embracing pleasure, intimacy, and personal freedom, and how can readers apply this wisdom today?

Amanda:  I’d tell my younger self: make out with more women — and do it for you, not for the validation of the male gaze.

When I look back, I realize how often I performed desire instead of owning it. If I’d let myself explore that side earlier, I may have opened doors to deeper relationships and more curiosity.

The wisdom for readers is this: notice where you’re still performing, and ask yourself, what do I actually want? Following that thread — even in small ways — is how you begin to step into real freedom.

Editor Note

Amanda’s journey reminds us that awakening to our desires isn’t about following someone else’s rules; it’s about reclaiming our own. From leaving a corporate career to embracing her alter ego, she shows that pleasure, boundaries, and personal freedom are intertwined, not oppositional. Her story is a powerful invitation for readers to examine where they’ve been performing desire rather than owning it, and to take bold steps toward living fully in their truth.

The key takeaway? Liberation doesn’t arrive quietly; it asks for courage, curiosity, and the willingness to see the sacred in every expression of your authentic self. Whether it’s through kink, sensuality, or everyday choices, the path to empowerment begins by listening to your body, honoring your limits, and claiming your right to pleasure without apology.

Freedom—the ability to create life on your own terms—has always been there. It just took courage to step out of the comfort of the expected