From escorting to professional sex education, Tim’s journey has given him a unique lens on intimacy, desire, and human connection. In this revealing interview, he shares the mistakes that became lessons, the humor that breaks down sexual taboos, and the importance of accessible, shame-free education.
Tim opens up about his most unexpected sexual experiences, exploring how pleasure, pain, and curiosity intersect in surprising ways. He discusses the gaps in traditional sex education and why understanding your own body is essential for healthy, fulfilling connections. From volunteering in LGBTQ+ communities to guiding people of all ages in navigating desire and consent, Tim emphasizes the power of communication, self-awareness, and playfulness in intimate relationships.
Raw, candid, and refreshingly unfiltered, this conversation explores pleasure, consent, and sexuality in ways that will make you laugh, reflect, and rethink what true connection really means.
Unconventional Path to Understanding Human Intimacy
You’ve had a unique path into sex education, from escorting to professional sexology. How have these experiences shaped your understanding of intimacy and human connection?
Tim: I started escorting at 19 and finished when I was about 23. In my experiences as an escort, I learned all the things that you’re not supposed to do. I made all the mistakes and did everything wrong. For example, I learned that some people don’t like being called “daddy” or that playing hard to get can actually be a turn off. In making all those mistakes and being exposed to different expressions of desire and sexuality, I am constantly learning how to be a better sexual partner and just how vast the human sexual experience is. I won’t claim to know all tturnoff.he aspects of sexuality, but the joy comes from constantly learning about our differences.
Humor in Sex Education
Humor is a big part of your approach. Can you share an example of how you’ve used humor in your workshops or panels to break down barriers and make conversations about sex more relatable?
Tim: I love to share my sexual mishaps because I hope that people can take away something from my mistakes. I once shared a story about how I lost a butt plug inside my ass, and I had to get my partner at the time to fish it out with his fingers, which is why I tell my audiences to always find a toy with a flared base. When you learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes, you are taking away the power that shame has. Making lighthearted jokes and bringing levity to an embarrassing situation normalizes it and doesn’t make it as big a deal.
Community Outreach & Impact
You volunteer in Toronto’s LGBTQ+ community, providing sex education and harm reduction resources. What gaps in sexual health education have you noticed, and how do you tailor your outreach to address them?
Tim: I have taught hundreds of high school students about sexual health, and the constant gap I notice is the lack of conversation about sex as a normal part of life. The current education system is set up so that students are told about STIs and abstinence, but there is no talk of harm reduction and consent. Depending on my audience, whether it’s teens or adults, I always ask them what they were taught about sex and fill in the gaps to see how I can best inform them. I can lead them to harm reduction resources such as needle exchange programs, or I can tell them about how they can be better advocates for HIV-affected youth.
Sex Education & Accessibility
In your experience, what’s the biggest gap in sex education today, and how do you think we can make learning about sexual health and pleasure more accessible and practical for everyone?
Tim: The biggest gap in sex education is restricting information. For example, when students are taught only about abstinence and STIs, it can lead to shame, which leads to not wanting to learn, which leads to fear, which leads to an unhealthy relationship to sex in adulthood. Sex education should start at an early age and be taught at each grade level using age-appropriate topics and language.
Children as early as four years old are aware enough to ask questions like, “Where do babies come from. It is at that age that they should at least know the parts of their body, including how to name their genitals and what consent looks like concerning their bodily autonomy. This kind of information should be accessible at all times, whether it be online or made available through the education system.
Fun & Unexpected Experiences
What’s the funniest or most unexpected thing that’s ever happened to you in a sexual encounter, and what did it teach you about pleasure?
Tim: Once this guy was fucking me, and I was having a really hard time cumming. I wasn’t sure why, but I’ve never had that problem before. Normally, I cum quite easily, but that night was different. While he was fucking me, I started to get bored, and my eyes wandered to look at the clock to check the time. He noticed me checking the time and was kind of offended that he took my cheeks with one hand, lightly slapped me, looked at me with glaringly mad eyes, and angrily asked, “What, am I boring you?!” It was at that moment that pushed me over the edge, and I came so hard I convulsed. That was how I learned I was a pain slut.
It’s also how I learned that pain and pleasure receptors in the brain have a significant overlap. That light slap was a slippery slope into the kinky lifestyle I lead today.
Navigating Desire & Mismatched Needs
How do you navigate situations where partners have mismatched feelings or desires, whether emotionally or sexually, without creating resentment or distance?
Tim: Communication is key. And it’s not just sitting down and talking. Communication requires listening and actively absorbing information that your partner tells you. When handling mismatched feelings or desires, it is important to vocalise your emotions from your point of view and not as a fault of your partner. For example, “I don’t feel loved when we’re not looking at each other when we talk” is more effective than “You don’t make eye contact with me, so you don’t love me.” The former statement comes from a first-person perspective without blame.
Whereas the latter is more accusatory. It is important to state your feelings when emotions aren’t running high to avoid casting blame on your partner, and always speak from inside, never point fingers.
Advice for Readers
If you could offer one piece of advice to someone looking to bring more pleasure, playfulness, and connection into their life without shame or guilt, what would it be?
Tim: Masturbate. Touch yourself more, and do it as much as you can. Nobody can give you more pleasure or understand how your body works as well as you can. If you know how to pleasure yourself, then if the time comes, you can tell someone else how to pleasure you. Own your pleasure so that nobody can take it away from you and make you feel ashamed.
Editor’s Note
Tim’s journey reminds us that understanding intimacy is rarely linear, and the lessons often come from the mistakes we’re afraid to talk about. His experiences underscore a simple yet profound truth: curiosity, communication, and self-awareness are the pillars of meaningful connection. By approaching pleasure with humor, openness, and a willingness to learn, we not only destigmatize our desires but also cultivate empathy for ourselves and others.
The real insight here isn’t just about sex; it’s about embracing our full humanity without shame, guilt, or fear. Whether navigating mismatched needs, exploring boundaries, or simply learning to know our own bodies, Tim’s perspective invites us to see connection as an active practice, grounded in honesty, playfulness, and consent
“Masturbate. Touch yourself more, and do it as much as you can. Nobody knows your body better than you do.”
