For Irene Cheung, the journey into sexual wellness was never simply a career choice; it was a deeply personal process of understanding pleasure, confronting shame, and finding the language to speak about intimacy. A sex coach and sexologist, she is the founder of Playtime Coach, a Hong Kong-based platform making conversations about sex, desire, and relationships more accessible. Her approach begins with a question many people rarely feel comfortable asking themselves: what does pleasure actually mean to me?

Her path to this work was shaped by her own experiences. Despite being able to experience orgasm alone, Irene struggled to reach the same place with a partner, leaving her questioning whether something was wrong with her. It was only after hearing similar stories from clients in the beauty industry that she recognised how widespread these private struggles were. She eventually stepped away from corporate brand building, pursued professional training with the Sexual Health Alliance and Somatica Institute, and committed herself to helping others understand their bodies and desires.

Having grown up between Hong Kong and Toronto, Irene also brings a cultural perspective to her work. Through Cantonese coaching, workshops, and her podcast, Playtime Talk, she is creating spaces where sexual education feels less intimidating and more human. Her philosophy challenges the idea that there is one definition of normal, reminding people that desire is personal and pleasure is something we can learn.

In this conversation, Irene Cheung explores the silences surrounding sexual expression, the complexities of mismatched desire, the importance of communication, and the difference between performing intimacy and genuinely experiencing it. At its heart is a refreshing reminder: perhaps better sex begins not with trying harder, but with feeling less ashamed of what we want.

Finding Her Voice in Sexual Wellness

Your Journey into Sexual Wellness: What inspired you to become a sex coach and sexologist? Was there a particular experience that made you realise how important open, shame-free conversations about intimacy really are?

Irene: This may sound strange, but I’ve always wanted to work in sex and wellness. My first dream was to build the brand for sex toys. Coming from a traditional upbringing, I felt that was far too taboo, so I took the “safe” corporate route into brand building instead.

Somehow, the industry found me anyway, through my own struggles with intimacy. For years, I could orgasm on my own but never with a partner, and I honestly thought I was broken. Things shifted when I moved into the beauty salon industry. Clients opened up to me about their intimate lives, and I realized I wasn’t alone. So many people were struggling in the bedroom, and they had no idea who to talk to or where to turn.

That felt like a calling. So I made what felt like a crazy decision: I quit my job, committed to my own healing, got curious about what I actually need for pleasure, and studied sex coaching full-time. I trained with the Sexual Health Alliance and with Somatica Institute, a body-based approach to intimacy coaching. Then I came home to Hong Kong, where I believed this work was needed most, and built Playtime Coach to commit to helping those like me and more people experience better sex, pleasure, and intimacy.

Sex, Culture & The Taboos We Inherit 

Culture and Sexual Expression: Having grown up in Toronto and now working in Hong Kong, how have cultural expectations shaped the way people understand sex, pleasure, and relationships? What taboos do you feel still need to be challenged?

Irene: I was born in Hong Kong and moved to Toronto when I was nine. Toronto shaped how I grew up, but Hong Kong has always been my home. Coming back to work here full-time, I experienced a culture shock at how repressed people are about sex. Most people never received real sex education. They got silence at home and a few awkward lessons at school, so their understanding of pleasure is very limited.

Here, sex mostly shows up as gossip, scandal headlines, or porn. None of those teach you how to have a connected, pleasurable sex life. And because we never learned the words, many people can’t even talk about it with their partners.

That’s why I built Playtime Coach in Cantonese, with 1:1 coaching, workshops, and Playtime Talk, my podcast about sex, intimacy, and relationships. I want to start honest conversations about sex that go beyond entertainment and gossip, where people actually learn about pleasure. The taboo I most want to challenge is the idea that pleasure is something shameful or something that “just happens.” Pleasure is a skill, and you’re allowed to learn it.

When Desire Doesn’t Align

When Partners Want Different Things: Mismatched libidos and unspoken desires can create distance between couples. How can partners navigate differences in sexual needs while maintaining emotional connection, trust, and mutual respect?

Irene: This is one of the most common things I see in my practice. Couples have mismatched libidos, don’t know each other’s desires, and often don’t even know their own.

So I always start with the self: What actually turns you on, and why? Understanding your own desire is the first step toward healthier intimacy. Then get curious about your partner. What turns them on, and why?

Nobody is perfectly built to match another person’s libido and desires. That’s human, not a failure. What matters is how you communicate. Name your needs, take turns (one night centered on one partner’s desires, another on the other’s), and make a conscious effort to play and explore together. In my work, sex is adult playtime, and play only works when both people feel safe and seen.

One of the most powerful coaching tools is experiential practice. We role-play with clients so they can rehearse asking for what they want and practice receiving a partner’s needs, requests, and feedback without getting defensive. Saying it out loud in a safe space makes it much easier to say at home.

Sex Education in the Digital Age: 

Through Playtime Coach, you make sexuality education more accessible in Cantonese. How can digital platforms help break down taboos and encourage more honest conversations about sex and pleasure? 

Irene: Speaking in our mother tongue makes a huge difference. Most of us grew up without discussing sex with our families, so the shame runs especially deep in Cantonese. Hearing someone talk about pleasure openly, warmly, and without judgment in your own language is comforting. It quietly tells you, “this is allowed.”

Digital platforms can break down taboos, but only if they offer real education, not just clickbait. On Playtime Talk, I invite professionals and people with lived experience, so what we share is accurate and grounded. One of my biggest surprises is that most of my audience is men. Many of them have never had a safe place to ask these questions.

Content doesn’t have to choose between being educational and entertaining. Sex ed can be fun, playful, and even sexy. That’s how we bridge the gap.

Pleasure Without Pressure. 

Understanding Pleasure: Society often places pressure on sexual performance and expectations. How can we shift our focus from trying to be good at sex to actually experiencing pleasure, connection, and being present in our bodies?

Irene: Wow, what a great question. Honestly, “being present” has been one of my biggest lessons, both personally and professionally.

Compared to many of my coaching colleagues worldwide, I talk a lot about technique because that’s what draws people in, especially in Hong Kong, where everyone wants efficiency and fast solutions. But I always tell my clients that technique is the easy part. It’s the door in, not the cure. The real work is being present and connected, both to your own body and to your partner’s. The more you can feel and enjoy pleasure in your own body, the more your partner will enjoy it too.

That comes from embodiment practice: noticing sensation, staying in the moment, and understanding your core desires, meaning what truly turns you on beneath the techniques. We drift into our heads when our desires aren’t being met. For me, I’m most present when I surrender: being led and letting go of control. I spend my days in charge, so giving up that power lets me relax and feel turned on. When that need isn’t met, of course I’m less present.

That’s why we coach clients to understand their desires and learn how to fulfill them, for themselves and for each other. When you’re truly turned on, presence stops being something you have to try for. It just happens naturally.

The Freedom to Feel Pleasure

If you could change one thing about how society approaches sex, pleasure, and intimacy, what would it be? And what is one message you wish everyone could hear about embracing their sexuality? 

Irene: I wish there were less judgment. One word I try never to use in intimacy is “normal.” What’s “normal” in sex, and who decided? Everyone has different desires, fantasies, and kinks. Why add more shame to a topic that’s already taboo for most of us?

Sex, pleasure, and intimacy are natural parts of being human, and we can only explore that part of ourselves when there’s less shame. I often tell my clients, “As long as you’re not harming yourself or anyone else, your fantasies are welcome here.”

If there’s one message I’d want everyone to hear, it’s this: you’re not broken, and you’re not too much. Sex is adult playtime! Lower the shame, get curious, have fun, and discover what pleasure truly means to you.

Editor Note 

We grow up learning what sex should look like, how desire should behave, and what makes someone a good partner, yet rarely get the space to discover what genuinely makes us feel alive.

What resonates most is the idea that intimacy is not about perfectly matching someone else’s expectations; it is about understanding ourselves well enough to communicate what we need, while making room for another person to do the same. And perhaps that is where real sexual freedom begins: not in becoming more adventurous, but in feeling safe enough to be honest about what we want.

“After all, pleasure doesn’t begin when we take our clothes off; it begins when we let go of the shame we’ve been taught to wear.”